Wuv On-Line

"Dear Zuckerman.

I am contacting you concerning the payment of the amount of 15,500,000 Dollars US currency to you from the account of my death client Mrs Zinaida Zuckerman
(who might be your relation). she left behind this amount in her bank account at the bank here in Africa before she died along with all her family members in an auto accident but since then the bank where the money were deposited wants to confiscate this money since they could not find any of their relative. Get back to me and I will give you more information on how to receive this money for our personal interest, we shall share it equal."


this was my reply:

Wow! I am so sad to hear about dear Aunt Zinaida's car accident. It seems like just yesterday she quit her job as a occupational therapist for cats and horses and packed up for Nairobi. We always suspected she was quite well to do; I'll never forget how she used serve caviar and Dom P when we would stop by her apartment. I was too young to drink the champagne of course, and find caviar repulsive, but it was impressive nonetheless.

Forgive me, I prattle on. Thank you so much for contacting me, seems totally fair that we split Aunt Zinaida's $15.5mm equally. Tell me, were you close? There was always a strangeness to Aunt Z - I remember how she used to watch hours of CSPAN, screaming at the television in opposition to or support of bills or other legislative proceedings that clearly had no impact on her life. I'll never forget when she threw a menorah through the television when a measure to change the national flower of the US from the rose to the petunia failed by one vote.

In any event, how do we proceed? I would love to come to Africa to personally thank you for your diligence in the affairs of Zinaida (I know she was a death client to you, but I feel that you've treated her like family, and thus, by extension, are my brother (or sister!)).

Warmest personal regards,
Alex Zuckerman